You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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