it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize