Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
