every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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