Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
