i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize