he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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