I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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