It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
