were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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