1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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