She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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