Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
