You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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