That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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