I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my poor anus
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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