on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
