Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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