How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
