Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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