VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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