But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
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Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!