the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.