Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize