so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
