my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
