a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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