He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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