is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
