...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
