i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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