Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
