We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
