I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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