He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
