all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
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I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
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Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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