You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
