i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just forgot I was standing up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
