Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All I want is dick and wine.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize