Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
