Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
