Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
