thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
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If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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