I want to stick my p in your. b.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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