I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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