I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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