Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
