sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
