angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
