I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
