i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
3pm strippers are depressing
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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