Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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