I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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