omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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