If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
