ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
