Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
