On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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