I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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