Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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