just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
